I am so grateful.

This isn't going to be one of my usual blog posts. I am feeling way too overwhelmed.

Yesterday we, my husband and I, headed back into Boston, to Dana Farber Cancer Institute,

for his follow up CAT Scans. The scans are to check the effectiveness of his surgeries and Chemo/Radiation for the treatment of his lung cancer.

We have been through this before. In our earlier experiences with this we were naive enough not to worry. That was until we learned to always worry. He had never gone for a follow up scan that it didn't result in BAD NEWS. That was until yesterday.

We had been trying to put the upcoming Scans out of our minds by keeping really busy. That was easy because life is really busy anyway. By Fathers Day weekend the worrying thoughts were never out of our minds. I know that the fears of more treatment and bad news were weighing on my husband heavily and his public smiles were hard to keep up for very long. By Wednesday they had disappeared. Fear was all that we were feeling. It built to unbearable heights just before these scan days, but this was different. He had been through so much . What more could they do?

Waking at 4:30 Am to begin our day with the 2 hour drive to Boston was routine now, but this drive had a fragility, a solemnity and a silence. We are dutifully punctual. They were too.

After the scans were comlpeted he could eat. You aren't allowed any foods 12 hours before the scans. We had a familiar breakfast at the Hotel attached to the hospital, making easy comments and silently fearing the afternoons 12:30 PM results appointment. I don't know how we ate without vomiting.

It was a gloriously beautiful day in Boston, warm, sunny and bright. We decided to take a long walk through the Fens. That is the continuous park of chainlinked ponds and streams, The Emerald Necklace, that is so beatiful in Boston.

We walked passed the Elizabeth Stewart Gardiner Museum and watched the ribbon cutting and dedication to newly renovated enrty at the The Museum of Fine Arts in Boston. We scurried by the camp site of a few homeless men who approched us for money. We found a wonderful area of hundreds of small inner city "Victory Gardens". Each garden had it's own personality. Some had unbrellas and benches, even ponds or fountains. Other gardens had vegetables growing in earnest. It was an amazing area that we had never seen before. It was lovely!

We soon came upon Fenway Park and marveled at it's historical presence and watched everyone busily preparing for the big event, combining the Winning Boston Celtics with the

Red Sox game to be played later that evening. All the seats are sold out for the rest of the season this year!

We arrived back at DFCI early, 11:30 AM. Big sighs... we had another hour to wait! The staff looked up and said to my husband, "I think that the Doctor will see you early today, come right in." Gulp... So in we went.

Dr. J walked in with a big smile. My husband asked how he was doing today.

Dr. J answered, " Not as good as you are!"

"Your scans are ALL CLEAR".

"There is no evidence of disease." We cried and smiled. We kissed by the elevators and waiting for the car to come. It was a wonderfully exhausting relief.

We will go back at the end of September to recheck, but that is the best feeling. The rush of air into your lungs and the pain from smiling.

I am so grateful. Thanks to everyone for all of your prayers and love. THANK YOU!