I really don't know why I BLOG.
I enjoy following some familiar BLOGS. It's like checking in with friends. The BLOGS that I follow are mainly written by younger women. Some of the writers I know personally, others are strangers. These women's lives are just getting started. They often write about very personal things. The BLOGS are well written by educated, working women. They talk about the tremendous loads that they carry. They have busy jobs, busy social lives, some write about dealing with overwhelming personal tragedies. Many of the writers have husbands and young children. They BLOG to share these experiences with others and to get feed back. This is pretty much what we did person to person when I was that age. I find that we all share some common worries and joys, but most similarities end there. Is it because I have lived much more of my life in a different time?
Young women don't seem to have those close bonds that I shared and still share today with my "girlfriends." Or maybe they do. Maybe it's that they also have a larger, broader bond. Their world is so much larger and yet closer and more tightly intertwined than mine was.
I write on my BLOG or post an illustration (my photos) of my own particular view of things. These are my perceptions, of my experiences, in my life. A different direction with different focuses. I guess I'm not as filled with the social angst of the younger BLOGGERS. I find that when I read their posts they often make me chuckle. I am at times envious of the freedom and adventure that the writers describe in their lives. I also get very sad to read about what they believe is important about life. Their view of the world is different from my own, but very real.
I was reading a particular favorite last night. It's almost voyeuristic really because you're reading personal thoughts. It's like I have found secret pages from someones "diary" and I read them. But this is an accepted practice in BLOG land. So I go ahead and read them without any hesitation.
This post was about her memories of Valentines Days in her recent past. They were filled with wonderful things and great memories. What I think of as- made for TV moments. These memories are real. These experiences really happened, but they've left behind a distorted picture of what her real life should or must be. Her 2009 Valentines Day was filled with her own attempts at making a nice day for herself while not having a "significant other" this year to fill the gaps in her perception of Valentines Day. Efforts she felt she had to make, to fulfill a reality that she has, that is based on marketing and TV advertising, Internet Ads and in most of our magazines. These would be the images of "the perfect life, in the perfect body, with the perfect Valentine's Day floating all around her."
It wasn't her post so much as it was the responses to her post that struck me. Her responders applauded her shopping prowess to fill the void of the loneliness that she was feeling. (I often find the BLOG responses to be canned, stroking the writer. A perceived disappointment on my part in this medium called BLOGGING. The responses tend to say what the writer would want to hear...no dissent or controversy.) It was the writers mothers response that was the most valuable I thought. It was her mother who reminded her that it (Valentines Day) should be in the remembering how many people LOVED her. Not in the acts of showering or being showered with stuff to prove it. The voice on the BLOG was coming from a woman from my place in time, to help this writer recall that "things" were NOT going to satisfy her longing. She would be better served to recall that she is loved, perhaps not in the made for TV ways she has been programmed to believe are the only TRUE ways to fill the requirements of Valentines Day, but LOVED perfectly for who she is in real life.
I guess my own post today didn't really go anywhere... but I've been thinking about this. Life is not about perfect. It is important to remember that "fairy tales" are fiction. They teach lessons about life but are not real. TV, Hollywood, magazines, these are cultural products that continually bombard us with images. They force us to consume, to buy or buy into their pitch. After years of bombardment we all begin to believe that the media images of life are real. We try to live that and be those people. We're somehow LESS if we don't attain those benchmarks of the perfect life. (In contrast, if you only watched the gory crime shows you would never go out your door!)
If you're waiting for your life to start and you want it to be perfect, stop now. You are destined to be chronically disappointed. Why set yourself up for that? Not that I think that we shouldn't strive to be better. We should. Life is wonderful and filled with love all around. But that love comes in different forms. It can be found in unusual places, at unanticipated times. It comes and it goes and comes back around again. So, slow down and live (love) your one and only life. Your work, stuff, attaining perfection... will not love you back.
Words from an older (not old) woman.
I enjoy following some familiar BLOGS. It's like checking in with friends. The BLOGS that I follow are mainly written by younger women. Some of the writers I know personally, others are strangers. These women's lives are just getting started. They often write about very personal things. The BLOGS are well written by educated, working women. They talk about the tremendous loads that they carry. They have busy jobs, busy social lives, some write about dealing with overwhelming personal tragedies. Many of the writers have husbands and young children. They BLOG to share these experiences with others and to get feed back. This is pretty much what we did person to person when I was that age. I find that we all share some common worries and joys, but most similarities end there. Is it because I have lived much more of my life in a different time?
Young women don't seem to have those close bonds that I shared and still share today with my "girlfriends." Or maybe they do. Maybe it's that they also have a larger, broader bond. Their world is so much larger and yet closer and more tightly intertwined than mine was.
I write on my BLOG or post an illustration (my photos) of my own particular view of things. These are my perceptions, of my experiences, in my life. A different direction with different focuses. I guess I'm not as filled with the social angst of the younger BLOGGERS. I find that when I read their posts they often make me chuckle. I am at times envious of the freedom and adventure that the writers describe in their lives. I also get very sad to read about what they believe is important about life. Their view of the world is different from my own, but very real.
I was reading a particular favorite last night. It's almost voyeuristic really because you're reading personal thoughts. It's like I have found secret pages from someones "diary" and I read them. But this is an accepted practice in BLOG land. So I go ahead and read them without any hesitation.
This post was about her memories of Valentines Days in her recent past. They were filled with wonderful things and great memories. What I think of as- made for TV moments. These memories are real. These experiences really happened, but they've left behind a distorted picture of what her real life should or must be. Her 2009 Valentines Day was filled with her own attempts at making a nice day for herself while not having a "significant other" this year to fill the gaps in her perception of Valentines Day. Efforts she felt she had to make, to fulfill a reality that she has, that is based on marketing and TV advertising, Internet Ads and in most of our magazines. These would be the images of "the perfect life, in the perfect body, with the perfect Valentine's Day floating all around her."
It wasn't her post so much as it was the responses to her post that struck me. Her responders applauded her shopping prowess to fill the void of the loneliness that she was feeling. (I often find the BLOG responses to be canned, stroking the writer. A perceived disappointment on my part in this medium called BLOGGING. The responses tend to say what the writer would want to hear...no dissent or controversy.) It was the writers mothers response that was the most valuable I thought. It was her mother who reminded her that it (Valentines Day) should be in the remembering how many people LOVED her. Not in the acts of showering or being showered with stuff to prove it. The voice on the BLOG was coming from a woman from my place in time, to help this writer recall that "things" were NOT going to satisfy her longing. She would be better served to recall that she is loved, perhaps not in the made for TV ways she has been programmed to believe are the only TRUE ways to fill the requirements of Valentines Day, but LOVED perfectly for who she is in real life.
I guess my own post today didn't really go anywhere... but I've been thinking about this. Life is not about perfect. It is important to remember that "fairy tales" are fiction. They teach lessons about life but are not real. TV, Hollywood, magazines, these are cultural products that continually bombard us with images. They force us to consume, to buy or buy into their pitch. After years of bombardment we all begin to believe that the media images of life are real. We try to live that and be those people. We're somehow LESS if we don't attain those benchmarks of the perfect life. (In contrast, if you only watched the gory crime shows you would never go out your door!)
If you're waiting for your life to start and you want it to be perfect, stop now. You are destined to be chronically disappointed. Why set yourself up for that? Not that I think that we shouldn't strive to be better. We should. Life is wonderful and filled with love all around. But that love comes in different forms. It can be found in unusual places, at unanticipated times. It comes and it goes and comes back around again. So, slow down and live (love) your one and only life. Your work, stuff, attaining perfection... will not love you back.
Words from an older (not old) woman.
1 comment:
Ahhh...Mom....I come down on two sides of this I think....when I first read that post (because of course I know who you are talking about!) my immediate gut reaction was to tell her "look around! You are SO blessed with so many people who love you." but I didn't say that in my comment, because, as you pointed out, we commenters often stroke the person writing the post....(probably because we know, as fellow bloggers, what it is like to leave your diary out there for all to read- it takes a certain bravery). As a woman who was *very* single before meeting my amazing husband I can say that I also recognize where that blogger is. Valentines day can be a tough day when you are single and longing for something real. It takes a certain strength, as a woman who does grow up bombarded by media images of what perfect is, to stand alone on the most romantic day of the year (supposedly) and to treat herself to things like clothes and flowers and jewelry and say to the world, I'M OK! I DON'T NEED ANYONE TO GIVE ME THESE THINGS!
All that straddling the fence aside, I kind of feel that Valentine's day is ridiculous. I don't need a day for my husband to tell me he loves me, or to show me he does- or for me to do the same for him... we do it a thousand times a day in a thousand small ways. But I did enjoy my special dinner. :)
And for the record, I love that you blog....I like reading your perspective and I especially like it when your beautiful granddaughter makes an appearance!
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