Cancer, one of many frightening things in the world

I listened to NPR's Leroy Sievers on, "Talk of the Nation," for the first time a few days ago. Mr. Sievers writes a daily blog called, "My Cancer".... www.npr.org.blogs/mycancer. He has a malignant brain tumor that has regrown. The discussion on NPR was informative and highly personal. It also really scared me! Callers spoke about their own experiences with cancer and that of their loved ones. Every account reminded me, in some way, of my life and my family (or what is left of it). Some stories were of cancers devastating toll and some callers had just begun their struggles. I'm just the wife. It seems so selfish of me to be so lost and afraid.

I read Mr. Sievers blog later in the day. He wrote about the second episode of the '07 Soprano's season, the one where Johnny Sacks dies of lung cancer. I watched it and thought that it was too real. (Except the part when he lights up a cigarette while pulling around his oxygen tank..) I had to pretend that it was just a movie. The way that I always did when I'd watch a really scary movie as a child. It's just a movie.... it's just a movie....

The next day while eating my breakfast and listening to CNN, the reality of how frightening and fleeting life can be struck loudly. It wasn't cancer, but it is a malignancy in the world today. Violence. The shooting on the campus of Virginia Tech was as senseless as any other unwanted disease. Violence against the innocent is so shocking and painful. The perpetrator of the crime was as quiet and unexpected as the most invasive cancers. He hid quietly, planning his deadly dream. How similar he was to a malignant growth, exploding with such violence, so unexpectedly.

The bombings in the market in Iraq, killing 200, happening in the same hours as the murders by the "shooter" in Virginia. In Darfur, the senseless violence against the innocent people continues, at the same time as the Virginia "shooter" plays out his delusions. More cancers spreading in the world.

It just kept coming out of the TV. My tiny little life, with it's frightening unknowns and my fear of them, seem so small in comparison. My families' cancer has a chance with treatment. But I have to ask myself, what about all of the other families who's dreams were destroyed in the violence in just that one day? In the blink of just one day....