This time it's ALL GOOD.

For the past few days life is just a huge blur. My husband and I were headed into Boston on Tuesday, to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or (DFCI for those in the cancer loop) to see his Thoracic Surgeon for a follow up and for him to be scheduled for another surgery. This time to get at this "hot lymph node" that had recently appeared on his PET Scan.

The implications were way beyond frightening. This surgery could simply be removing the lymph node or possibly removing the remainder of the lung in his left chest, which would be at it's best, life altering. So far we had never received any of the best case scenario's. To say that we were scared to death would not be accurate or even close to describing our emotional state. This might mean that the cancer was back.

The litany of thoughts and fears that came now were fast forward-flipping- like pages in a book -in the wind. You really couldn't stop the flipping. The first few pages were all about... Having to put his life into the hands of others again.Trusting them. Our lives were to be put on hold, again. The worst and biggest fear....He might not survive this.

They actually had an opening for the next day. Unbelievable! Great news, no need to wait and worry, it'll be over with in no time. Bad news, no time to worry and get prepared, no underwear either.(Thanks Beth and Scott for shopping for the essentials in such a rush!)

For the fist time since he began walking this new journey down the cancer pathways, he was blessed with GOOD NEWS. I can barely think about it without crying-- again.

After the panic, the sleepless night, came the rushing to get ready for the Operating Room that next morning. Next came the crashing in of the residents and interns. They came swarming in; to insert the IV's, ask questions,put in place an Arterial Line, more questions, cut in a Central Venous Catheter, and the final blow-the most embarrassing pose to be put in for inserting the Epidural catheter into his spinal cord and more

unanswered questions. These are all frightening procedures each in and of themselves and no fun at all!Our goodbyes were said and our kisses given. You never have enough time for this kind of separation. But now it was all done and he was gone. We are both alone in crowds of strangers, again.

While my husband was laying on the OR table, just about to drift off, the doctor walked in. The doctors will often peek in and say hello before beginning the procedure, but this time he tells him,

"The CAT Scan shows that the lymph node has resolved! It's not there! It is no longer enlarged. Meaning, most likely, that it was "HOT" and lit up on the PET Scan, due to an inflammation not a malignancy."

"There will not be any surgery today. You can go home."

So out came all of the tubes.We went home.

We've been crying ever since!!! Happy tears!!!!

The roller coaster ride of life. ( from PARENTHOOD the movie)